So this is probably not the type of post you would expect to see here; however, I want to be real and open with you by sharing something that is important to me: inner healing and growth. Let me be the first to say that having cute clothes, the best makeup, and the latest wellness products will not matter if you are not happy, nor will any of these things actually make you happy in the long run.
I have learned that to be happy, filled with joy, and have and real impact on the world, we need to discover and live from our true selves. To do this, we should aspire to grow in all areas of our lives, including spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I want to share a few books with you that really helped me discover my true self, mature in my Christian faith, and improve my relationships with myself, God, and others. I don’t believe you need to be a Christian to grow from these books at all; they are for everyone! However, if you are a Christian and looking to mature in your faith and feel confident in who God says you are, these books helped me do just that.
If you have any questions at all about any of these books, or about my personal growth and inner healing journey, feel free to leave a comment on this post, or send me an email through my website. I’d love to correspond with you around this topic.
1. Created for Connection
Created for Connection by Dr. Sue Johnson was an important book for me because it sparked an interest in me to want work on myself. It really dives into how to connect with your partner in a healthy way, but also discusses why you will have disagreements and how to best recover from them. I really like how it discussed recognizing when you feel like you may be heading towards an argument and it provides you with tools to prevent it, over time as you grow. While this is written for couples, these same concepts can be applied to all of your relationships.
2. Rediscovering the Lost Body-Connection Within Christian Spirituality
This book, written by Edwin McMahon and Peter Campbell, was an absolute game-changer for me! Coming from a home where feelings were not acknowledged or discussed, caused me to go through most of my life process-skipping over emotions. In other words, all “bad or yucky” emotions were pushed down and ignored, and life was to carry on. Process-skipping over bad feeling emotions is so damaging to our body, mind, and spirit! This book walks you through recognizing, comforting, acknowledging, honoring, and holding space for all of your bad feelings; and how to care properly for them, so you can be your true self. I cannot express enough how good this book is, and how much it helped me grow and gain confidence in being my true self! If you consider buying any of these books, this would be my first recommendation.
3. The Relational Soul
The Relational Soul, written by Richard Plass and James Cofield, will dive into shedding your “false self” and putting on your “true self.” This book was very helpful for me to understand the difference between my false and true self, with our false self being who we show to the world; and our true self being who we really are and were created to be, and yearn for others to see. I promise you, that discovering and embracing your true self is worth it because you are being who God created you to be and that is a beautiful thing and the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to the world! This book will help improve your relationship with God, others and yourself.
4. Joy
This book Joy, written by Alexander Lowen, is all about healing your body from unresolved childhood traumas that you may not even be aware you have in your body. Trust me when I tell you, I didn’t think I had any childhood trauma, because I always thought I had a pretty decent and normal upbringing. The truth is, trauma is held unconsciously in our body, without us knowing it, preventing us from feeling fully alive in our body. This book helps you to start recognizing your own trauma so you can start healing it. The end result and reward is freeing up your body to exist in its natural state of joy, which is the way God created us to be! This one is a really good read, and I highly recommend it.
5. Fear of Life
Fear of Life, by Alexander Lowen, is another really good book about allowing yourself to breathe and feel all of the not-so-good feelings (pain, sadness, inner emptiness) that maybe you never allowed to surface, or maybe you are not aware that they are inside of you. It is a really good guide to show you that once you take the time to care for yourself in this way, your trauma can heal so you can start to experience pleasure, fulfillment and joy. Again, I never took the time to look at myself and listen to my body in this way, and I was able to learn so much about where I needed healing from this book.
6. Gentle and Lowly
To switch gears a little away from the books around healing, this book, Gentle and Lowly, by Dane Ortlund, is about getting to know the heart of Christ. It really helped me to have a new understanding of Christ’s heart towards us. I really like how the author explains God’s heart towards us as well, as well as the role of the Holy Spirit. These were ideas I never really dug deep into, but the author really does such a great job doing that. I have read this book twice, and it spoke to me in a different way each time I read it.
7. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
While the title of this book may sound intimidating, I will just say that our parents are human, and that no human is perfect. It can be hard to admit that your parent(s) could be emotionally immature or unavailable, but this book is about awareness of this truth so that you can grow. I found this book to be helpful because it raised my awareness around this topic, and helped me to set healthy boundaries for myself. It can apply to anyone in your life who is emotionally immature (again no one is perfect), as it provides you with the tools to set necessary boundaries in those situations as well as how to best interact with them to preserve your peace of mind. Lastly, this book helped me to see if I have been emotionally immature as well, so that I can do any work I needed to do in myself.
8. Narcissism
This book Narcissism by Alexander Lowen, is another really good read to help raise awareness around any healing you may need. The tag explains it really well, “…relieve hidden anxieties and heal the tension between mind, body and feelings.” I was always hesitant to read anything with the word narcissists’ in the title, because I always associated this word with something bad, and I didn’t think that would apply to me. However, with a tag line like this, it made me realize it has to do with feelings we have pushed down (aka: hidden anxieties) and I know that I don’t want to experience anxiety, and if there is a way to naturally heal around that, that sounded pretty good to me!
9. Anatomy of the Soul
The Anatomy of the Soul, by Curt Thompson, “integrates new findings in neuroscience and attachment with Christian spirituality, Dr. Thompson reveals how it is possible to rewire your mind, altering your brain patterns and literally making you more like the person God intended you to be.” This book is one of my favorites because it guides you on how to begin thinking in a new ways, enabling you to break free from your old ways of thinking that are holding you back from realizing your full potential I don’t know about you, but I certainly want to live up to my full potential and become the person God created me to be!
10. The Soul of Shame
The Soul of Shame, by Curt Thompson, is a book that everyone can benefit from. Everyone struggles with shame, whether we are aware of it or not. I love one of the book’s reviews as it really provides a great overview of the book, “Curt weaves bibical wisdom, neuroscience research and powerful stories into a covering that doesn’t hide our shame but enables us to name what is keeping us from freedom and wonder. This is a magical work- thoughtful, compelling and transformative.” I cannot agree enough that shame will keep us from stepping into our true selves and walking in the authority of who God created us to be, so this book was such a great resource for growing in this area.
11. Why Grace Changes Everything
Why Grace Changes Everything, by Chuck Smith, is about God’s grace for us, through Jesus Christ, and how it changes your life. The author shares how God’s grace has worked in his own life, and reminds us that God is for us, and we don’t have to do anything to receive His grace, because He freely gives it to us. I highly recommend this book as it is such a good reminder of who God is.
I hope you will find these books valuable for your own journey of emotional, mental and spiritual growth. As a reminder, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about my own journey of growth, or let me know if you read one of these books, and what you got from it. Enjoy and God bless!
